"The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room."
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."
"I always take life with a grain of salt...and a slice of lime...and a shot of tequila."
"Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in."
"Dogs can't operate MRI scanners but cats can."
"Threesome, no thanks-If I wanted to disappoint 2 people in the same room, I would have dinner with my parents."